Darkness
by OneLastRefrain
Summary: Conclusion Chapter Uploaded.. Here's another angsty Bosco story for yall. Hope ya like it. Reviews very much appreciated. Read IMPORTANT Note.
1. Darkness1

_Title:_** Darkness**

_Summary:_ Most people have fears right?

_Rating: _PG-13 for people who are sensitive to cursing. PG for the ones who really don't care.

_Spoilers:_ I few here and there.

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own any of the Third Watch characters.

_Important Note: _This is NOT a Cruz or Faith shipper. It does start out as one however. I'm trying to make Bosco as realistic as possible so bear with me. This is if the whole Noble situation never happened. My other stories portray that and Im getting sick of writing that way, so here's a new change.  You may also want to check out the _End of the Beginning or __My Foggy Life According To Bosco if you get confused. You shouldn't though. ^^ Hope you like._

Introduction

_I don't have many fears. There is only one which really makes me sweat and my head spin. Most people would think I'm a baby if they found out. My fear is something that most young children have, not a grown adult, especially not a man. This started as a kid when I was alone at night, hiding under my covers attempting to muffle out the sound of my ma and pa fighting. Sometimes late at night I can still hear them in my head. I know it's my conscious. Maybe even a tad of guilt for not sticking up for my mom. _

_I didn't just hate my dad because he beat her, I hated him for his words, and allowing Mikey and I to hear them fight, bickering, and screaming late at night. That's why I hate the darkness. I remember some times where I would lay in bed trying to keep Mikey from crying. I was scared as hell that my pa was going to come upstairs and beat us too. If I listen closer I swear I can still hear my moms crying pleads for help. _

_I told Faith once about how I grew up seeing husbands beat their wives. I vowed I would never turn out like my dad, I wont. I'm not like him, not a bit. To this day I break down when I see someone beat the shit out of my mom like he always did. I may not have been able to stop it when I was a kid, but now, I will make sure it's stopped. _

"Bos?" I heard someone whisper and touch my shoulder gently. I nearly jumped out of bed startled as my eyes met Maritza Cruz's, the one girl that could actually 'stand' me besides Faith. "You okay?" She asked her eyes filled with concern as she traced her hand along my bear chest lying upon her side. I shivered at the touch of her nails to my skin, my heart beating rapidly.

I stared at her, not sure myself, what had happened, I could feel myself in a cold sweat. My body was shaking lightly as I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. "Yeah," I said rubbing my damp forehead with the back of my hand.

"You still having those nightmares?" She asked as I sat up. A small amount of light crept into Cruz's apartment enough to make shape of objects around the room.

"I can't remember." I sighed deeply. I felt like I had been running for a while, out of breath and worn down.

She sat up alongside me, her hands wandering slowly up my bareback to my shoulders as she gently caressed them. "I know what you need." She whispered softly, her lips brushing against my ear. I shuddered.

"Yeah?" I murmured back with a lingering smirk. I broke into a smile and said casually,

"Sleeping pills."

TBC…

Authors Note: The quicker you review, the quicker the next chapter gets up. You know the drill. 


	2. Darkness2

Thanks to all who left feed back. Hope you enjoy the chapter and keep the reviews coming in or the story stops where I left off. It's up to you.

_Whenever I close my eyes, the nightmares creep into my mind, corrupting my conscious, leaving me crankier then usual. Sure, I bet I'm hell to live with, sometimes I piety Faith for having to put up with me. Cruz, well Cruz she chose this, she had torn though my brain, nearly ripping out my heart a few times, yet she doesn't seem too bothered by me. Sure, that creeps the hell out of me, and usually puts me into shock when I think about it. Maybe she's lonely, maybe desperate, or maybe she just doesn't want to deal with her own problems, well, whatever. _

_The nightmares had started about two weeks ago when someone who I wished I would never see again returned into my life. The past nights, I've revisited my past, those dark, still nights where I would listen to them scream and fight at __midnight__. Sometimes my ma would sneak into my room after my dad gave her hell and brush my face softly. I pretended I was sleeping, out like a light, trying to be as still as possible. She would cry to me, tell me everything would be alright, I knew it wouldn't be. _

_Why he came back, I have no clue. I told him I hated him, I told him I wished he die, I swore on my bloody grave that he would suffer and life of misery, no matter how much he didn't like it, there was no-one to beat the hell out of anymore. Even if he wanted a second chance, I would never give that to him. He didn't deserve justice on me or my family. He had no right to come back, nearly begging for my forgiveness, I didn't want to hear it, I didn't want anything to do with my dad, ever, ever again. _

"Bosco!" I heard Sarge's voice scream at me as I swerved down the street chasing a new suspect for a domestic shooting. Another car cut me off as I slammed my fists hard on the horn slamming on the breaks sending Cruz along with me forward. 

"Damnit." I cursed under my breath. Cruz wasn't too happy as she stared out the window holding back one of her cruel comments catching her breath.

"Pay attention to the road would ya?" She said looking at me with angry eyes. Deciding not to reply, I wasn't about to get myself into another mess. "Who the hell taught you to drive anyway?" She continued.

"Would you like to drive Miss. Perfect?" I cracked staring at her. After a few seconds she tore her stare away from me reaching for her radio. 

"1-0-7-5 lost suspect on intersection 9-8" She said into the speaker.

"Copy 1-0-7-5 to 1-0-3-8" The radio replied. Pulling back out on to the crowded road packed with pedestrians I continued down the street staring at the road in a daze.

"Why does it bother you so much? Forget about him, Boscorelli." She said staring out the windshield and then back to me.

"Why does what?" I said not paying attention to her constant ramble. Either she gave me orders or rambled on; I didn't know which one was worse.

"Big Old' Daddy back in town." She said staring at me, waiting for a reply. I didn't want to explain the whole story, she knew enough and that was how it was going to stay. She had no business questioning about my past anyway. 'Leave well enough alone, Bosco.' I told myself.

"I don't want to talk about this Cruz." I replied pulling my gaze from the road back to her. "Really." I said looking back to the road quickly.

She shrugged. "Fine, as long as you don't let it interfere with your job. Turn around and head back to the precient." Sarge said demandingly. 

Debating whether to question her as to 'what if I don't want to,' I let it go and made a U back to the station with out a reply.

Sarge stood in her office hovered over a bunch of paper work she had been dreading to do. Evening paper work was always a drag and I knew well enough, if I walked into that office, my ass would be sitting there filling out reports as Maritza had her own fun arguing with people on the phone, god knows who she was talking to. I never asked, not really caring. 

 I took a duck out of the office heading down to the main desk of the 5-5 station, a few halls away from Anti-Crime. Faith gazed at me absently as I leaned over the desk watching her as she hovered over a phone in one hand, a pen and paper in the other, scribbling down some phone number.

"Can we talk?" I asked as she put down the phone. I knew I couldn't talk to Cruz about what was going on, Faith was the only one who knew the true me, she knew me more then I knew myself when I thought about it.

"I'm sort of at work, Bosco, something you should be doing." She replied sarcastically to my question. My mind wandered why she was doing desk duty, usually she had a pestering rookie to watch after and 'mother.' I knew I had hurt her, moving on to Anti-Crime. I felt guilty for doing this but I needed a change. I hoped she understood that and hoped it wouldn't ruin our friendship.

"Well can you take a break or something, its important?" I said sincerely.

"It's always important Bosco, it's never not important." She replied scowling at me. She must have then noticed how grim I looked, I knew I looked like a ghost back from the dead, I was a wreck. I finally found out the importance of sleep, it was something I was definitely lacking. "Bosco, five minutes, that's all." She said looking over to Lieu, "I'm taking a break, Ill be back in five." She said and headed out from the desk after the Lieu giving her a nod. 

We headed down the hall to the role call room where we usually had our 'serious' talks. Closing the door behind me she stared at me. "He's back." I muttered.

"Who's back? Listen Bosco, I'm not going to fix your problems, you're a big boy now, and you can take care of yourself." Faith said crossing her arms across her chest.

She was true, she was the one I always expected to help me, hey who was I, god? She had her own problems with Fred and the kids to take care of. She didn't need a grown adult to way some more weight on her back. Looking back to the door and then to Faith. "I have no-one else, Faith. My dad, he's back." I said after taking a deep breath.

"And you expect me to do what Bos?" She replied. Boy, I didn't think she was that upset with me. That was a major slap in the face.

"Faith, I need help! If this is because I transferred to Anti Crime, why can't you get over it?" I yelled at her totally losing my senses. "God Faith, are you that jealous of Cruz?" I snapped my face red with anger. Wow, I had blown it. Her expression twisted into rage.

"Jealous? You think I'm jealous?" She screamed back at me bitterly. She had an angry slash amused look on her face that hit me hard. Why was she doing this? I just needed to talk to her and I had to go open my big trap.

"Faith, I...I" I hesitated as she cut me off. 

"You know what Bosco? I don't have to deal with this anymore." She said shaking her head in disbelief, walking past me, and slamming the door shut behind her. Sighing deeply I had screwed up big this time. I had Faith mad at me, my jackass father back in town, and Cruz, well, uh, Cruz was just somewhere. 


	3. Darkness3

Sorry, I haven't updated this in a long time. Thanks to those who reviewed and emailed me there comments. I enjoyed reading them Molly and Jeanie. This chapter is for you guys, even though all are. LoL

_As long as I can remember I was the sort to screw things up. Hell, it was practically my nature. But what does that matter? Sure, I did a whole lot of stupid things in my life, but, I learned from them.  I guess everyone does that in one way or another because if you didn't, how could you become a better person? _

_Everyday I strive to change, to make a difference in the world. That's why I'm a cop. I do what I do best, kick some major ass. Well talk about being self-absorbed, I enjoy my job. And I do a damn good job at it to. I'm so sick of those people who constantly complain about there job, there duty. If you hate it so much, quit, I tell them. It's not that easy, they complain. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, it's just another lame excuse for being miserable. Before I went to the academy, I did myself a favor, sat down and stared at myself in the mirror. _

_Took a good look and asked myself, is this what you really want to be Maurice? Do you want to put your life on line, everyday for this screwed up city? Do you want to defend the law? Do you really want to see what happens on the streets, see something's that are so horrific, even the news wont show? Do you want to put others in front of you, save some lives, and kick some major criminal ass? After a few minutes of this, I realized that I could not answer these questions. I wasn't sure who I was, and what the hell I was getting myself into. Until I looked back into my past, seen what my dad did to my mom all those years, seen drug dealers dealing some Super K and ecstasy to 5th graders. I saw it all and finally understood why I was put on this earth. I knew I would make a difference in someone's life. Only if it was one, I would make a difference._

"What the hell is he doing back anyway?" I bombarded my ma with questions leaning over the counter pouring myself a shot of whiskey. 

"I told you all I knew, Maurice, calm down, it's not like he hasn't been in the city before." Rose replied wiping down the wooden counter, scrubbing at some sticky substance that didn't want to come off.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just bothering me that he came back after a year or so. Why did he leave in the first place?" I asked chugging the shot in one large gulp, the alcohol ripping at the back of my throat; I loved the tingling sensation after your first shot. The last time I had talked to my dad was after the whole Shequana case. Boy, that didn't bring back great memories. It wasn't everyday you were suspected for a murder you had nothing to do with.

"I know as much as you, figured he gotten a better job in another city as a taxi driver, who knows? Maybe he found another girl." She said still scrubbing in the same spot. 

"Ma, to abuse," I snapped quickly, in a low yet harsh tone. 

"Maurice." She stated looking up quickly with worried eyes. "That was a long time ago."

"It doesn't change what happened." I scowled angry that she was attempting to cover up for what he had to done to her. I could see, he had left her with a permanent scar that would never go away. 

"I know that it hurt you, it's over now Maurice, understand that. He changed." She stated simply, her gaze returning back down to the counter where she was scrubbing. She wasn't going to give up without a fight. Man, he had gotten his stubbornness from her.

My expression turned light. "I'm sorry, ma." I replied with a defeated sigh. I wasn't really sorry though, I knew I had to say that. She was my mother, the only one who, at this moment I had, the one person who understood.

 "I think that spots clean..." I muttered with a soft sigh as she moved on down the counter away from me.

"Right," She said with a soft grin as she continued, in a deep trance with her task, she didn't look back up to me. "Want something to eat hun?" She asked wondering why I was still sitting there.

"No, I'm meeting someone." I replied standing up grabbing my leather jacket off the stool next to me. I slipped it on watching her as she looked up quickly.

"Another new girlfriend?" She asked, all of a sudden sounding interested in my love life. Usually she didn't care who I was seeing.

"Nope, really, just an old one," I replied leaning over the counter and planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "Love ya ma, I'll see you tomorrow." I said and walked out.


	4. Darkness4

_Cruz, Maritza Cruz, man, she's a killer. You look her dead in the eye and you're captured in her spell. She has a way, a vibe, for attacking men like me. God knows how she does it. All I know, it amazes me._

_Maybe it's the manipulative personality she has, or the sexy body that intrigues on what she'd do with it next. Her tan, golden skin, deepened brown eyes filled with mystery, or maybe it was her __Latina_ figure in all. The angle of her cut edge face, or those think pouted lips she takes so much care of. I seriously don't know how she does it. Whatever way she keeps me under her grasp like a toy, go figure.__

_Faith has been my best friend for what, eight years now? We are as far back as it goes and everyday now I feel like our relationship is drifting, further and further away. I don't want it to but I really don't know what else can be done. I know, friendships end and new ones start, but ours was genuine. Something told me we would always be their for each other, sure, we quarrel, hell we fight a lot, but I look back and I see how stupid it was. _

_My father was one thing I did not want to go back to. I pushed the situation in the back of my mind, trying more then anything to make it go away. Yeah, sure, I didn't hear from him but it still bugged me for some reason. Maybe I was fearful he'd hurt ma, or ruin my family. And then I thought, wait Bosco, what family? Who is it that you have beside your mom? I started to question friendships, my partners, and the ones who I see everyday. Hell, they are my family! Screw it; sure we aren't the same blood, but who the hell cares. It just hit me when I came in for another long day at work. All those nights I had sat home alone, feeling bad for myself because I have no family, meant nothing. Zippo, nada, I don't know what I was thinking. When I asked someone to define what makes a family, many people reply with, 'a group of people who are blood related, a mother, a father, and there children.' I look at the people who I'm with everyday and realize I have a family. My definition of a family is the following, a family consists of a group of people who care, love, and look out for each other. My family consists of my ma, Faith, Ritza, and so many others who work in the NYPD. They are my family, forever and always._


End file.
